Blog #7: My Waves Revelation

I was at the beach the other day, and due to the recent storms in North Carolina, the waves were a little rough. I stood at the shoreline, let the waves crash into me, one by one, when I had an epiphany...

I was talking to God and He showed me a revelation-sounds crazy I know! But it was such a strong connection and vision that was bestowed upon me and I was in complete awe!

I saw the waves as a metaphor of my life thus far...

When the first wave hit me it wasn't that bad, the second one was a little rougher and the third actually hurt when it hit me.

I believe this is a parable for the difficult moments of my life and the hard times I have experienced. I can admit that I've turned my back on God before, I can own that I ran from Him rather than too him, and I can even say aloud that I have been mad at God for putting me through so much in such a short amount of time...

First my parents had a messy divorce, then my dad-my closest ally and friend-died suddenly when I was 17. Following the pain of that loss, I started running. Finally, after years of trying everything to numb my pain, I ended up in jail. At 21 years old I was arrested for the first time with 9 felony charges, stuck there for 3 months under the harshest conditions imaginable, and pregnant.

I don't need to get into details, but looking back I see God was saving my life. He forced me to confront my demons head on, and take a time out before I either overdosed or ended my own life.

Hindsight is 20/20 right? Well I used that time to reconnect with God. I stayed in the word and talked to Him all day long (as I was in solitary confinement the entire time). And I even had a major God moment where he proved His love for me in the most miraculous way!

So back to the waves. The vision I saw in my mind was basically that, yes, it may be painful to experience in the moment, but in the long run, God has a plan and He has my back...

Also it is an honor to feel that God has allowed repeated waves of pain in my life because He feels I am strong enough to handle them. No matter how weak I feel in the moment, I have gotten through with God's wisdom and guidance. When I look back at the pain and trauma I experienced (some being due to my own mistakes- not God's) I wonder, "how did I get through that?".

I know now it was all for a greater purpose. The most amazing part is that at the end of the revelation I asked God to show me the end game- and the rough seas suddenly calmed! Literally the water became so serene and pleasant, just as I was bracing for another tough impact. I feel this is symbolic for how heaven will be, completely peaceful and painless.

So whether you believe in a higher power or not, I hope you can take away something from this lesson. I know it really has opened my eyes and changed my perspective on my life events so far. I no longer see it as being 'punished' but rather being thought of as strong enough to weather the storms! I am cared for so much that my God allows me my free will, even though His plan for me is perfect!

I can honestly say that I don't want to run anymore. I ran for years, and at just 26 years old I am tired. My guardian angels are tired as well, so it's time to let them rest.

I am starting to reap what I've sewn all those years, and taste the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5: 22). I am finally trusting God's perfect will over my own. It feels good to live cradled in His arms and protected as His child. I have the peace that surpasses all understanding!

That isn't to say that every day isn't always sunshine and roses- I still face adversities in my everyday life and I am far from perfect- but with God's help I can overcome it all!

Thanks for listening to my story! Let me know if you have experienced anything similar. I know it can be hard to answer the question, "how do you hear God's response to prayer / petition?", but this experience helped answer that question for myself! This amazing vision He put into my mind so strongly and clearly is definitely a blessing!!

Love always,